There was a time were people are bound together with intimacy among their relationships. India was once been celebrated for its traditions and cultures which are our basic traits. But along with the years the culture and tradition changed too. There is no love, care or affection left in most of the human’s heart and instead rivalry, selfishness and vengeance took over their minds and hearts making them stay away from their relatives and traditions. I have been witnessing the fact of this shifting culture for the past few decades.
There are many foreigners who are obsessed with the rich culture and traditions of India which brings them to India. But we Indians have started being mesmerized with the foreign culture and started living according to it which is not acceptable in India. But still the change happens every second and guess there won’t be any so-called-culture in our India.
But am not to speak of any cultural differences of cultural changes here. This post is all about a brother-sister relationship and how it bloomed and how it was forced to get it withered by itself with my true story as a depiction. And yes, it was the post out of my severe pain which I got to undergo from this relationship.
On one sunny morning, in the month of March, I came out from my mother’s womb breathing my first wheeze of air. And I found all my relatives surrounding me and some whispered sadly or I being a girl and some were extremely happy for getting a child what so ever be it, a girl or boy. Right then I found that I was been lifted by a handsome guy in his teens lifting me with so much of love, care and affection. It was my brother. And I was attracted to him on the first sight as like a love at first sight.
I was entering my school for the first time in my whole life for my kinder garden. I was not aware of what exactly a school would look like. I was dropped in school with my mother and brother. I was happy in wearing a white shirt with blue skirt along with a new bag, books, water bottle, snack box and all kind of weird stuffs which made me feel happy. But once I was left into my class by my brother, I thought he would stay up with me even in school and play as like he would play with me at home. But he left me and went out of the class which was not I have expected. The next instance I burst into crying for my mother and brother. And then onwards my brother would not come to leave me at school as he would say that he doesn’t have strength in looking at me crying at him like that.
This was the year I was left alone at my home. My brother would never come to visit me often anymore as he would do before. He would not be there to play hide n seek with me, to lift me and run around my house, to buy me chocolates and macaroons which are my favorites those days and finally he will not be there not to make me feel alone. He was moving out of town for his graduation and that was when I started missing him so much. Days passed and years passed too. He would come home during his holidays with a huge pack of chocolates and macaroons and would take me for shopping and would buy all sorts of toys I would ask for and would play with me the whole time and will move out once I went to sleep as I would never leave him if I were awake.
It was then, I was been promoted to my fifth grade. And my brother has completed his graduation and got placed in a reputed concern in Hydrebad, and he was always the topper in his class. Then this was the time I stated missing him really more than ever. Its because he would not even come to visit me once in a month. The visits got limited to once in 3months. And on one such visits by him, I was been asked to bring my parents for my monthly meet with my teachers. I was happy that my brother is here and I wanted only my brother to come with me to school this time. And once he came and attended the meeting, I was in my seventh cloud and I was been speaking about him and his talents and his very lovable character for all the year through which would have made my friends got irritated off. But I would have never ever cared off then.
I have started writing letters to my brother every now and then. And my brother would be very proud of me and my way of writing letters him in English which he would say to each and every relative of ours. He used to send printed greetings of his own for my birthdays with a big letter and I still have those treasures in my treasure box as those are my most valuable possessions.
And finally it’s the time for his inclination in his career. Yes, he was offered a job in United states and he has to move on. But then I had a kind of fear in my heart which was kind of weird and I was not able to express anything about it to anyone. But I literally cried when my brother took off to U.S in his flight and I spent few days crying to sleep by thinking about my brother. I am not going to see him even once in a year anymore. 😦
This was the time when I was having a myriad of emotions which I was not able to handle being a girl of 16. My brother is getting married! I was the happiest person on earth when I heard of this news and on the other said there was some kind of sadness of grief that my brother is not going to be my brother anymore as he is going to begin his own life. But I did really missed him all these years and I’m sure gonna miss him lot in future too. His marriage and reception was the one which I could not still remember even though how hard I try. It might be some kind of selective amnesia I guess or it could be like I was not physically present in that wedding as my heart was screaming out of pain that my brother is not gonna be my brother anymore.
Its been years that my brother spoke with me or my family. He started living his own life and I guess we were living in a place which is a region out of focus. He was living his life as if we haven’t even existed. I tried calling him and I was replied by my anni who said he’s not available and will inform him. But he never returned any of my calls. Days passed by and I was going to complete my under graduation when one fine day my so-called brother contacted us to inform that he is a proud father of a girl child. And I was happy about his achievement but not happy about his defeat in showing some love towards his loved ones.
A very long and unfilled gap between us and my brother made me feel as if I didn’t have a brother at all in my life. A phone call of 2 times was the least thing he did to us. And no answers for our calls or no response for my mails either. And finally came a day when he called to inform that he has come to India and he would like to visit us. My parents were happy about this though they had their story of pain in his behavior to be said. But I on the other side was not happy at that instance. But the care and affection I had for my brother made me so curious and I started preparing things for making him feel comfortable while he visits us.
I was ready with all my preparations from lunch to the arrangements for his stay which I did not leave my parents to interfere as this was the first time my brother is visiting me after I have all grown up. I was nervous all the day and I was working with a high tense as if it is a life-or-death assignment. And finally I had my brother and his wife in our home around 2 in the afternoon. They didn’t bring their child saying that she is not interested to come out as its hot in India. I was quiet disappointed. I offered them fresh juice which was not accepted by them and they haven’t been interested in having their lunch either. And finally after a conversation of half-an-hour with a glass of water they started from my home.
I had a thought of having a brother who loved me, cared me, and soothed me even when I didn’t ask for. But now the whole scenario has changed. I was expecting atleast some love, care or affection from him as a basic sister’s rights, but I was provided with the greatest disappointment in my life. And I did break into pieces and what is left here is still some love on my brother and the pain of expecting something from a person.
And I did understand few things in relationships:
- Not every relationship stays the way it was in the beginning forever.
- The love among the relationships doesn’t stay the same in the continuous phase of life.
- People tend to change when time and place gets changed.
- When newer relationships enter into our life, the older relationships might get faded unnoticing.
- And who knows, even I might get changed once if I happen to get my life partner, my children and my own family.
- Finally, love should never turn out to be a drug whatsoever be the kind of relationship we are in, as it might start killing us gradually at certain bitter situations.
P.S: I STILL LOVE YOU BRO 🙂