You could have guessed what this post is all about. Yes. It’s just 6 more days to go for me to turn 26years. So it’s a post for summarizing the whole 25 years of my life on this earth.
Just before few hours I received a text from a friend of mine telling me to treat him for I am going to celebrate the successful completion of my 25 years. Haha yeah I should actually do that by throwing a party but I don’t know what could I probably choose to tell as a reason for celebration.
Should I say that I have achieved something? Nah. That would be a big fat lie.
Or should I say that I have at least made something remarkable for someone to remember me? Hmm yeah maybe. But I bet that’s not gonna be in a positive way either.
So that is what hinders me from celebrating my birthdays be it 25th or whatever. But after thinking over these I started making a list of the have’s and have not’s of mine after all these successful 25years. Let me just list down those for you
1. I do have few people around me who I think really cares about me at least to say “I Love You” whether they really mean it or not.
2. I now have a life of my own to decide upon like how am going to live.
3. I have some courage to face the problems however tougher it maybe by still surviving.
4. I have a DSLR, which is keeping me feel lively with its help in making me take better pictures and to make people notice me.
5. I have a big deal of confidence that am not gonna die sooner leaving me no choice than to make my living with some career which I haven’t chosen yet.
6. I have few books which makes me think and make few changes to my thoughts about everything in and around me. I learn something from each book I read and the question is do I follow it. But for that I’ll have to write another post which can be done later
7. I do have a passion for crafting and writing which is yet to be improvised a lot.
So as far my analysis I have o ly these 7 important things in my life. So let’s look for the have not’s.
1. I don’t have my father with me which is my biggest loss of my life and am still working on it to set everything right without his help, but the truth hits hard sometimes by proving that I need help from my father. But lets never mind because that’s not gonna happen anyhow.
2. I don’t have a guide to lead me, which is why I go wrong making mistakes over and over all my life.
3. I don’t have a good rapport with the people who actually love’s me. Somehow I mess things up, though how hard I try to retain a relationship I end up breaking it myself. I sometimes prefer to be alone rather being with someone and ending up hurting them.
4. I don’t have the boldness to speak out what I think. It leaves me being a stupid all my life.
5. I don’t have the ability to take a decision that is supported by at least few. Or the ability to convince people to accept my decisions.
6. I don’t have an exact idea of how many people love’s me and how many don’t.
7. I don’t have a job or a clear career prospect as of now.
8. I don’t have any savings of my own. Though money and other materialistic things can be earned or not earned which doesn’t concerns me much, I still need to save a lot of money to fulfill my goal.
9. I don’t have a group of friends to hang out with or understanding relatives to share my thoughts with or spend some family time. I find everyone looking for something to get for themselves which makes me stay away from most of them.
10. I haven’t made my mother proud of me even once in her lifetime and instead I have let her down a lot.
11. I don’t have the confidence or positive attitude just like people refer to me as ‘a girl of negative thoughts’.
12. I don’t have a proper place to sit in silence for hours or cry out loud to vent out my feelings which makes me feel more stressed out.
13. Finally, I don’t have trust on people even if they are trying to be nice due to the insecured thoughts which doesn’t allow me to love people anymore the way I used to do in my early life. Just because of few bad experiences.
So the have not’s have exceeded the count of the have’s as usual
But from this new year eve I have tried to make few changes to myself which may be seen by the next year. Until then let me not keep on speak over the have not’s in which few can be changed too
With this post what I meant to say is, I haven’t done anything to celebrate my silver jubilee for my birthday and it’s going to be just another passing day of my life.
No celebration. No parties. No treats. :-p
But ready to accept all your heartfelt wishes on this 25th birthday