Mother

Bicentennial thoughts!

Its 7th of March… By now each year right from my childhood I would be excited over the forthcoming day with bigger expectations and butterflies flying constantly over my whole body and a restless-sleepless night for the big day… Yeah… Am speaking of about my BIRTHDAY… I was born on 8th of March which I found later to be WOMEN’S DAY too which offered me a double -treat. My birthday’s were never a cheerful one nor a gloomy one and its resolved to be stabilized with a kind of nostalgic feeling over the whole day all through my life and I was not able to make out the reason for it even now and finally fixed it that it’s all my thoughts that makes my day good or bad.

So I planned of presenting my vivid and murky thoughts on the Birthdays I have spent all these years 🙂

March 8th 1988:

I was born in a Private hospital with 2kg weight and all that happened is everyone out there were freaking out looking at me. Guess what? They all had various reasons and individual thoughts for freaking out. But I could sense out their mind voices like:

Father’s Mom (Grandmother) – “Bapprae… It’s a girl baby… I expected it to be a boy baby… Worthless soul”

Mother’s Mom (Grandmother) – “Thank god! Both the mother and the child are alive… It’s a god’s miracle for this child still being alive after so much of physical weakness of her mother”

Uncle & Aunt – “Hey look at the child… How could a child be like this… I haven’t seen one with so tiny physic and wrinkled skin like an old lad… There might be some problem with this newborn I guess”

Relatives – “Oh God… Why does this baby has to be a girl… It would be better if it’s a boy… How is she gonna grow up a girl child alone with her husband died of accident… God must help her…”

Mother – “Thank god! The baby is fine… And thanks to you my dear for helping us be alive today… I vow to bring this child well and bring in glory to your name… Do rest in peace my dear husband”

Doctor – “Hey all… Stop pouring out your remarks… I need to take this baby to ICU as she’s under-weighted and struggling for breathing… If-not she will never survive… It’ll take around a week to make this baby all hale and hearty…”

March 8th 1991:

I was all dressed up in a white frock and looked like an angel (no no please cool down guys… Just for an example) with a box filled with toffee chocolates and two unopened packet of same chocolates and full of smiles…

I was in my kinder garden and it was my first birthday with so much of people around me gathered for a birthday song in the prayer hall… (It’s a custom in my school to sing a birthday song for the Birthday Babes after the prayer is over)

March 8th 1992-1999

I would probably get a new dress for my birthday and I used to wear it with full cheer and carry chocolates with my face full of teeth to each of my friends in the class and teachers by bunking half a day to distribute sweets to all the teachers in my school… I would be the princess of that day with all those wishes and blessings from everyone…

And at home needless to say I will be paid off well with money from every member of the family… You know I would fall in each of their feet on my birthday not for blessings but for the money they would give me… And I also used to get few memorable presents from my dear friends…

March 8th 2000:

I was in my 10th grade and just then I realized one biggest thing in my life which changed my life a lot… Every year I used to pressure my mother to buy me a new dress for my birthday with a chocolate kept fixed in my mind right from December itself… I didn’t think it’s a bad habit…

But on this particular birthday I was wearing a fancy salwar with all those embroidery works and was carrying my box full of chocolates and was ready for my usual session of distributing to each and every one. But then I realized that it was the day one of my new classmate Ranjani’s birthday too… But I found her in school uniform with no change. I was puzzled… And even many don’t know it’s her birthday… When I went up to the stage for birthday song, I found her standing down in the corridor with other students and singing the birthday song for me.

After that I started my usual distribution and in the lunch break once I got free I found her eating some curd rice as if that day got nothing to do with her. So I went up to her and asked for the reason. But she said as she forgot that it was her birthday. I was not in a mood to argue with her that time as I was about to share some special lunch with all with sweets. So I left it as it is.

But after few days on some sudden occasion I was enquiring about her and there came the answer as “she was from a poor family and her parents were not able to buy her new clothes or sweets for her birthday from childhood and though she would feel like wearing new dress and distributing sweets like others she was laid back to be without any of these due to her family situation”…

Hearing this I felt really bad and was not able to reply her anything and I felt how much my so-called-birthday-celebration that day might have bothered her little heart. So then I realized that I must no wear new dress on my birthday and celebrate like I did all these years never knowing how this would have hurt so many little hearts like Ranjani’s.

So I did followed this and I haven’t even asked my mother for a new dress or chocolates or cakes for birthday and stopped having so much dreams over that day from December… But as my friends knew that it was my birthday they will present me with gifts and wanted me to offer them sweets so I used to give them a diary milk each and treat in the school canteen. But that day I gave two chocolates and a special gift to my friend Ranjani and I would treat her especially for she is one important person for a biggest change in my life…

March 8th 2001-2011:

My life has totally changed to a different atmosphere after the schooling… I went for my graduation where the celebrations might be different with midnight calls for birthday wishes and friends buying a cake for the birthday babe and we all get-together into an empty class for cake-cutting-ceremony with all the galattas, getting punishments from staffs, giving treat to friends and so on… But though I had all these I would be sure not to wear a costly dress for my birthday and to be simple on that day so that it would not hurt any of my friend’s feelings.

And after that in my job also the same cake-cutting-thing happens but this milieu is totally different and I guess I was happier spending my birthday with my friends rather than my colleagues and I even feel shy for all these celebrations but it’s an unavoidable one as the management rule is like that to celebrate for all…

March 8th 2012:

Gone are those days of sunshine and cheer and left are the days of panic and dreary birthdays… It’s all because OH MY GOD…. I AM GETTING OLDER AND NO MORE A BABY OR KID OR A DAUGHTER…

It’s time to take up a new road in my life’s path… It’s going to be hard though but it’s the usual path all the girl child needs to choose by destiny… So better to get ready for a cheerful future… And not knowing what this birthday has kept for me in the stadium, yet I am ready to wait for looking over it… A NEW YEAR WITH NEWER HOPES…

Impulsive Management Changes

Ciao guys!

I am TinyToes, a sluggish female working as a Content Architect in one so-called IT sector in my city. Its been 16 months since I joined this concern.

I was just a novice while entering this concern and being my first job of my life I put-forth my fullest effort in making myself fit well with this designation. To my surprise I found the concern and my colleagues so supportive and they were ready to teach whenever you go by pestering them in the middle of their hectic schedule. And there are lots more the place and the people taught me in my personal and professional life.

But it’s some sort of personal issues which made me take a decision of leaving this firm and take a quiet vacation for my own self apart from my work pressure. And thus I have mailed my resignation to the concern in the beginning of this year.

And here is a short demonstration of the most surprising management changes which I experience in my office after my decision which gave me a nostalgic feeling and made me stick up hard to my decision.

(A formal discussion between me and M.D regarding the mail I sent for resigning)

M.D       : I’ve seen your mail TinyToes. So how far is the issue with your Mom’s health?

TinyToes     : As I have informed you earlier regarding her @#%^! problem I think we have to undergo a surgery sir. And it might make her bed-rested for a month atleast and it’s my responsibility to take care of her. So thinking over these I’ve finally landed to this decision sir.

M.D       : Hmmm… Ok then. The fact here is, we haven’t even gave a thought for selecting another candidate for Content Writing and looking over your reason let me start scrutinizing candidates for your post. And you must work until we hire another candidate as you knew it well that we have quite a lot of projects lined up and technically we need your assistance. So let me inform you regarding this two weeks later TinyToes.

TinyToes     : Okay sir.

(I came up with a very heavy heart. As you knew the reason well. If not let me say it myself. I took a decision of leaving the concern only for some valid reason. But I had a silly thought that I might be a value (!!!) to them and so they might suggest me some other alternative in making me stay here instead of resigning. If not atleast a word of formality in asking me not to leave the concern. But nothing happened as I expected and I understood clearly that they don’t think me as one of their value. And why the hell must I be here anymore? I got firm with my decision.)

(After two weeks of time period I mailed a reminder for what we discussed earlier. So we had another meeting for that.)

M.D       : TinyToes, I remember saying I will update you regarding the hiring process and I think you didn’t get me anything wrong like I said I will relieve you in two weeks.

TinyToes     : Yes sir, ofcourse I knew it. But the thing is you might be busy with your works and its my duty to remind you and moreover my mom and her surgery is more important for me and that’s one main reason which you could understand better.

M.D       : Yes. I understand. But we are not able to select a candidate with the desired skill set as like you and so it’s been dragging along so much of time. Let me make it sooner.

TinyToes     : Okay sir.

(“See still they don’t even have the courtesy to say me stay. Even if they are gonna say am not gonna stay here anymore. “Mumbled my consciousness.)

(Another two weeks have passed and I was called in for another meeting before which they had quite a few interviews with some candidates and I thought it’s time for me to get relieved.)

M.D       : Yes TinyToes. So we just called you to inform that you have been given an increment. Have you checked your account?

TinyToes     : Oh… Not yet sir. And may I know what the reason behind the increment is now?

M.D       : That’s nothing. We had a discussion 4 months earlier regarding your increment right. So after considering your request we have offered you the increment.

TinyToes     : Oh… ok sir.

M.D       : And TinyToes, how’s your mother’s health? Is she any better?

TinyToes     : She’s fine for now sir. And if she needs to get better, then the only way is the surgery.

M.D       : Fine. So why don’t you consider in staying back at ******* TinyToes? You see we find it difficult in selecting a candidate similar to your flair for content writing. And instead of searching for another person similar to you why cant you work here for a while. And even if you need some medical leave for your mother’s surgery you could sure take it and you can even work from home if you wish.

TinyToes     : !?!?!?!

M.D       : Look TinyToes. If only your mother’s surgery is bothering you, then just leave it aside. You can have your working time or working type get changed as work-from-home basis. All we try to say is that we don’t want to lose a talented girl like you for such reason. Is there any other issues related with your resignation?

TinyToes     : Huh??? No sir. Only this.

M.D       : Ok then. Why don’t you discuss regarding this with your family and consider staying at this office for another 2 more year’s atleast until they find you a groom to get married. Hope they haven’t started looking alliance for you still he he he. We expect a positive reply from your side TinyToes.

TinyToes     : Hmmm okay sir.

(I left the room with a pale face and a millions of thoughts haunting my mind. I can accept everything he said. But except one thing. Hey am going to be 24 this March and how the hell do you think my parents wont see alliance for another two years and spend my life so miserable in being single when all my pals have got two kids already and my sisters who has started teasing me to get married soon so that their path might get cleared soon and a lots more)

(After a week, that is which happened a few days back this week, another meeting was held)

M.D       : TinyToes, have you discussed with your mother?

TinyToes     : (I was totally forgot about that and stupidly enquired back to him) About what sir?

M.D       : (Angrily replying) ABOUT CONSIDERING TO STAY HERE!

TinyToes     : (Oh Shit!!!) Hmmm no sir.

M.D       : Why? Are you firm with your decision then?

TinyToes     : Yes sir.

M.D       : Well. So what else to say. We are having an interview in the middle of this week and I guess we would select the candidate for you position. If selected you can leave when your current projects are finished.

TinyToes     : Oh… Thank you sir. I have two projects lined up to be finished and it will probably take a week to be completed will finish that and will get relieved sir.

M.D       : Okay.

( I came out with face full of teeth and already I have started flying in seventh heaven )

 

The happiness is because I am going to get relieved from a place who don’t value neither me nor my talent and once they have ended up with no eligible candidate they come back giving increment and brain-washing me to stay with so much polished words. Even after these much of happenings if I happen to stay here would I be treated nice? Won’t they think I am easily convinced and changed my decision with a salary hike? Am I valued with my talent or valued with the amount of productivity I yield and amount spent over me? It’s just embarrassing when I dig down the hole deeper. So let me stop this situation with this much of imagination