Management

Impulsive Management Changes

Ciao guys!

I am TinyToes, a sluggish female working as a Content Architect in one so-called IT sector in my city. Its been 16 months since I joined this concern.

I was just a novice while entering this concern and being my first job of my life I put-forth my fullest effort in making myself fit well with this designation. To my surprise I found the concern and my colleagues so supportive and they were ready to teach whenever you go by pestering them in the middle of their hectic schedule. And there are lots more the place and the people taught me in my personal and professional life.

But it’s some sort of personal issues which made me take a decision of leaving this firm and take a quiet vacation for my own self apart from my work pressure. And thus I have mailed my resignation to the concern in the beginning of this year.

And here is a short demonstration of the most surprising management changes which I experience in my office after my decision which gave me a nostalgic feeling and made me stick up hard to my decision.

(A formal discussion between me and M.D regarding the mail I sent for resigning)

M.D       : I’ve seen your mail TinyToes. So how far is the issue with your Mom’s health?

TinyToes     : As I have informed you earlier regarding her @#%^! problem I think we have to undergo a surgery sir. And it might make her bed-rested for a month atleast and it’s my responsibility to take care of her. So thinking over these I’ve finally landed to this decision sir.

M.D       : Hmmm… Ok then. The fact here is, we haven’t even gave a thought for selecting another candidate for Content Writing and looking over your reason let me start scrutinizing candidates for your post. And you must work until we hire another candidate as you knew it well that we have quite a lot of projects lined up and technically we need your assistance. So let me inform you regarding this two weeks later TinyToes.

TinyToes     : Okay sir.

(I came up with a very heavy heart. As you knew the reason well. If not let me say it myself. I took a decision of leaving the concern only for some valid reason. But I had a silly thought that I might be a value (!!!) to them and so they might suggest me some other alternative in making me stay here instead of resigning. If not atleast a word of formality in asking me not to leave the concern. But nothing happened as I expected and I understood clearly that they don’t think me as one of their value. And why the hell must I be here anymore? I got firm with my decision.)

(After two weeks of time period I mailed a reminder for what we discussed earlier. So we had another meeting for that.)

M.D       : TinyToes, I remember saying I will update you regarding the hiring process and I think you didn’t get me anything wrong like I said I will relieve you in two weeks.

TinyToes     : Yes sir, ofcourse I knew it. But the thing is you might be busy with your works and its my duty to remind you and moreover my mom and her surgery is more important for me and that’s one main reason which you could understand better.

M.D       : Yes. I understand. But we are not able to select a candidate with the desired skill set as like you and so it’s been dragging along so much of time. Let me make it sooner.

TinyToes     : Okay sir.

(“See still they don’t even have the courtesy to say me stay. Even if they are gonna say am not gonna stay here anymore. “Mumbled my consciousness.)

(Another two weeks have passed and I was called in for another meeting before which they had quite a few interviews with some candidates and I thought it’s time for me to get relieved.)

M.D       : Yes TinyToes. So we just called you to inform that you have been given an increment. Have you checked your account?

TinyToes     : Oh… Not yet sir. And may I know what the reason behind the increment is now?

M.D       : That’s nothing. We had a discussion 4 months earlier regarding your increment right. So after considering your request we have offered you the increment.

TinyToes     : Oh… ok sir.

M.D       : And TinyToes, how’s your mother’s health? Is she any better?

TinyToes     : She’s fine for now sir. And if she needs to get better, then the only way is the surgery.

M.D       : Fine. So why don’t you consider in staying back at ******* TinyToes? You see we find it difficult in selecting a candidate similar to your flair for content writing. And instead of searching for another person similar to you why cant you work here for a while. And even if you need some medical leave for your mother’s surgery you could sure take it and you can even work from home if you wish.

TinyToes     : !?!?!?!

M.D       : Look TinyToes. If only your mother’s surgery is bothering you, then just leave it aside. You can have your working time or working type get changed as work-from-home basis. All we try to say is that we don’t want to lose a talented girl like you for such reason. Is there any other issues related with your resignation?

TinyToes     : Huh??? No sir. Only this.

M.D       : Ok then. Why don’t you discuss regarding this with your family and consider staying at this office for another 2 more year’s atleast until they find you a groom to get married. Hope they haven’t started looking alliance for you still he he he. We expect a positive reply from your side TinyToes.

TinyToes     : Hmmm okay sir.

(I left the room with a pale face and a millions of thoughts haunting my mind. I can accept everything he said. But except one thing. Hey am going to be 24 this March and how the hell do you think my parents wont see alliance for another two years and spend my life so miserable in being single when all my pals have got two kids already and my sisters who has started teasing me to get married soon so that their path might get cleared soon and a lots more)

(After a week, that is which happened a few days back this week, another meeting was held)

M.D       : TinyToes, have you discussed with your mother?

TinyToes     : (I was totally forgot about that and stupidly enquired back to him) About what sir?

M.D       : (Angrily replying) ABOUT CONSIDERING TO STAY HERE!

TinyToes     : (Oh Shit!!!) Hmmm no sir.

M.D       : Why? Are you firm with your decision then?

TinyToes     : Yes sir.

M.D       : Well. So what else to say. We are having an interview in the middle of this week and I guess we would select the candidate for you position. If selected you can leave when your current projects are finished.

TinyToes     : Oh… Thank you sir. I have two projects lined up to be finished and it will probably take a week to be completed will finish that and will get relieved sir.

M.D       : Okay.

( I came out with face full of teeth and already I have started flying in seventh heaven )

 

The happiness is because I am going to get relieved from a place who don’t value neither me nor my talent and once they have ended up with no eligible candidate they come back giving increment and brain-washing me to stay with so much polished words. Even after these much of happenings if I happen to stay here would I be treated nice? Won’t they think I am easily convinced and changed my decision with a salary hike? Am I valued with my talent or valued with the amount of productivity I yield and amount spent over me? It’s just embarrassing when I dig down the hole deeper. So let me stop this situation with this much of imagination

Memo Degredation

Memo from CEO to Manager:


Today at 11 o’clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is
when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes. As this is
something that cannot be seen every day, time will be allowed for
employees to view the eclipse in the parking lot. Staff should meet in
the lot at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing
the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will
be made available at a small cost.

Memo from Manager to Department Head:


Today at ten to eleven, all staff should meet in the car park. This will
be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will appear for two
minutes. For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles. The
CEO will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some
information. This is not something that can be seen every day. 

Memo from Department Head to Floor Manager:


The CEO will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for
two minutes in the form of an eclipse. This is something that cannot be
seen every day, so staff will meet in the car park at ten or eleven.
This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost.

Memo From Floor Manager to Supervisor:


Ten or eleven staff are to go to the car park, where the CEO will
eclipse the sun for two minutes. This doesn’t happen every day. It will
be safe, and as usual it will cost you.

Memo from Supervisor to staff:


Some staff will go to the car park today to see the CEO disappear.
It is a pity this doesn’t happen everyday.

Courtesy:

http://www.digitaldreamdoor.com/pages/quotes/business_jokes.html

To say out Loud…

THINGS YOU’D LOVE TO SAY OUT LOUD AT WORK:

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of s**t. 

2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.

7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.

10. Ahhh…I see the know-it-all fairy has visited us again.


11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.

14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
21. Congratulations, you have officially earned the Dumber than a Box of Rocks Award.

22. You know the acronym behind your name won’t keep me from kicking your ass in the parking lot.

23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be…?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.

40. Oh I get it… like humor… but different.