Forgive

Someone worth living for…

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Mithra!!!

“Hey you! What’s got into you Mithra?” Vinu shook Mithra harder which made her come back to her senses.

“Uh… What Vinu?” asked Mithra in a weary voice

“Not again! It’s already 6 pm and our cab would leave in another 10 minutes. Do you have an idea to catch the cab?” shrugged Vinu.

“Have to catch it for sure Vinu. Am sorry I got held up with my thoughts. Come on lets go”

Both of them rushed towards the big hallway climbing down the steps and came to the parking area where they found their cab was ready to leave.

They got into the cab and it started moving swiftly with some Hindi track playing in the tape. Mithra slightly bent towards the window and took deep breaths of air. She felt quiet comforting. Her mind drifted away to the day she had that conversation with Nithin.

They had a misunderstanding and it turned out to an argument very fast. Mithra found that they are going too far and so she just left without another word to make the argument to a stop.

It’s been a week since they both had the argument and neither nithin nor mithra spoke. They kept silent.

Mithra felt that silence doesn’t make the situation turn out any better. So she has decided to talk to nithin once she gets back to home. But she was hesitated and not knowing how to start the conversation, she was thinking over it the whole day which made her lost in her thoughts.

It’s been an hour of travel and finally she got down in her home. The cab dropped her and rushed through the busy road.

Mithra took out the keys from her handbag and reached out for the door and she found someone calling her name. She turned back and saw nithin leaning over her apartment grill with his ever lovable smile.

Mithra couldn’t believe her own eyes and mumbled some words in joy.

“Hey mithu… don’t get startled… am back!!!”

“Huh.. When did you come here? Why didn’t you call me? Are you so mad at me?… “

“Hey hey hey relax babes… how long are you gonna make me wait at your door steps? Aren’t you gonna let me in?

“Oh am really sorry! Come in” saying she unlocked her apartment door.

Nithin sat over the sofa and made himself comfortable while mithra was standing at the door and watching him.

“Hey baby doll… come na why do you stand there and stare at me as if I’ve did some crime”

“No nithin. It’s not a crime but still you have done something that you shouldn’t have and u know that it would hurt me”

“Yeah mithu… am really really sorry for that and now am here for your apology.” Saying he stood from the sofa and came near her.

She felt so warm having him around her and she couldn’t resist crying. Tears rolled over her eyes and as she closed her eyes to hide it, the tear rolled over her cheeks and landed up in nithin’s hand.

“Baby please.. Stop crying na. I know it’s my mistake and I don’t want to do it again and this 1 week of silence between us already killed half of my soul and don’t try killing the remaining with your tears. “ saying he wiped her tears.

“And hey as I said earlier u still look beautiful when you cry” said nithin winking his eyes.

Mithra couldn’t say a word but she managed just to say “thanks for coming this far to give this compliment nithin”

“Hey do you think I came for just giving you this compliment. I ve come for getting apology from my princess and guess what you have a surprise”

“Surprise? What is it nithin?”

He took out a picture of her with her parents framed in broad silver with miniature art works embraced over it.

OMG!!! That’s really a hell of a surprise and thanks a ton nithin. But how did you managed to get this picture?”

“I got it from your parents”

“What? When did you go to my parents place? And why didn’t you say me?”

“Baby, I am sorry that I was quiet pissed off that day and when you were saying that you missed your parents picture I was not that interested in hearing your worries and I yelled at you for worrying over a picture. But then once you stopped your argument and moved away I suddenly felt that I was hit hard by the reality of what I have done to you. And am really sorry for what I said and I do know how much that picture meant for you. So I thought of straightening up things and thus I went to your hometown to get the picture of you and your parents and now am here with it”

Mithra felt relieved at once hearing that because she had a thought that nothing didn’t really notice how much she loved her parents and how much she missed them around her by working some 10,000 miles away from them. She could not speak but still she hugged him with tears flowing through her eyes and wetting his shirt.

“I love you mithu and I promise I wouldn’t hurt you anymore”

“I love you too nithin”

And that’s when nithin played the song of Shayne ward in his tab…

 

I don’t wanna leave you here all by yourself

I just wanna let you know I’m there for you,

Like no one else

I don’t wanna drift off to another place

I just wanna lay here in your arms, with your hand on my face…

So lets not ever tell the moon about the Sun

I’ll keep hearing love songs, hoping every wrongs undone

It’s foolish, buy we’ve only just begun

I don’t wanna stop this; all my walls are cavin’ in

 

I wanna give you something worth living for

Oh yeah

I wanna tell you this and so much more

My everything, my universe

 

I’m so mesmerized by your serenity

Hopefully you’ll take me there, inside your dreams

Just like autumn leaves I’m falling over you

It’s so unbelievable, but you, so true…

 

Our imperfections are so beautiful right now

I don’t even see them, only diamonds now, remain

Its crazy how without making sound

You can make me feel things; all my walls are cavin’ in

 

I wanna give you something worth living for

Oh yeah

You’re something worth living for…

 

Heart wrecked!

I was reading a story in which the male lead was presenting a gold chain with a pendant which the female lead was craving to have it for such a long time. The writer of that story has narrated the happiness that female lead was enjoying that time and that gave me a nostalgic feeling though.

My mind raced back a year before where I stood in front of him with a kind of volcanic eruptions inside my mind and heart thumping over to my feet with  feeling of numbness taking over my whole body. That was the day I was bought to this world, and each year would be a happier one, unlike that day. Yeah. It was the day when my heart broke into infinity pieces which I felt so hard to gather it to its bits and pieces and yet searching for the missed ones.

I was an easy going girl with no worries surrounded with beautiful family and loving friends. I never had thought of such a day where I would be betrayed by my own so called best-friend, Kevin. I and Kevin were friends for around 4 years and he was my best buddy with whom I share each and every moment whether it’s better or bitter. But he being such an insane guy who was obsessed and possessive over me made up stories about us into relationship knowing that I never had thought of him in such a way. This made me heartbroken and I never again dared to trust a guy anymore.

And after the break up of our so-called-relationship, here I stand in front of him after 4 long months with nostalgic feelings erupting inside my heart.

Sherly please wait up for a sec!”

Whats your problem kevin?”

Sherly. Just relax. I know I am such a jerk and you wont ever forgive me. But please remember that its your birthday today. Have you erased the good old memories and fun we had together in the past years?”

Look Kevin. I am not a retard. I do remember everything and which is the only reason I still stand here speaking up to you though I like it or not” I busted out outrageously onto him.

Hmmm think your still in a high rage with my behavior. But you know what? I don’t feel guilty for it and I just wanted it to be true with us into a relationship Sherly. I felt as if you were onto a part of my life and I couldn’t even imagine a world of mine without you in it

That’s right. I know you wouldn’t be guilty forever. You can have all kind of imaginations as its your sole freedom. But who ought you the right to gamble my life with a fake correlation among our college mates

I don’t think it’s a fake one. I felt it true with my heart full of love for you. Please don’t avoid me Sherly

What? You don’t think it’s a fake one? It doesn’t mean that we are into a relationship with you thinking so. If you are true onto your love why haven’t you had the guts to say me instead of spreading rumors like a coward?” the words came out fierce from me and I didn’t have a control over my mind, heart or my tongue afterall.

Sherly I have not come here to argue with you. And I also knew that you wouldn’t understand my love. But am sure that one day you will come back to me with your heart full of love. But am now here to wish you A Very Happy Birthday

God! You are so insane. I don’t need your wishes. Just leave me alone Kevin” saying so I started walking back to my home from the terminals.

Suddenly he held my hand tight not letting me go from him with a raised voice “Wait up Sherly!”

That’s it. I couldn’t take it. The people around begun staring at us who made me feel awkward. “Leave me Kevin. Please. People out there are staring at us. Don’t create a scene

No. I need you to listen to me. I just came here to wish you and offer you my present. Just take it Sherly. I mean it

I don’t need anything Kevin. I would be happy if you let my hands off now

No Sherly. I can’t. Just open it up and see what’s waiting for you in there. And I bet you wont speak up like this any longer

Am not fascinated for any of your presents Kevin. All I expected from you is the true friendship and trust within us. It all ended up right there when I found your betrayal to the one you loved

I didn’t betray you. What’s that for now? Let me say it myself. It’s a Gold chain with the beautiful pendant which you once loved to buy on our shopping. I specially bought it for you hoping that you would be pleased Sherly. Just open it and see. Your anger might flew away in no time

Hey Kevin. Say you what. You are not sure about what you are upto and you just don’t have a damn idea about love. You have a mere fatal attraction towards me and please don’t define it as love. Love doesn’t come over presenting a gold pendant. That doesn’t prove your love. It proves your male-chauvinism. Do you think I’ll forgive you for everything you’ve done me for the sake of this gold jewel. You are in the wrong place with a wrong attitude. Mind yourself. Am just ashamed of being your friend for the past 4 years. I don’t need a person who values me with a gold jewel but I really love the one who cares me with the trust and love. No matter what you do in your life, be true to the one you love and sure you’ll be loved in return. I am no more in your sick life and goodbye once for all to you and your damn jewel” saying so I flipped my hands from him ferociously and started walking back towards my house.

After a year of this confrontation when I get to remember this incident I still have a nostalgic feeling over it and my heart weighs a lot more than usual and tear drops fall off my eyes thinking of the day I broke up with my so-called-best-friend. And never I can hate him and still love him for no reason with those lost bits and pieces of my heart as a good old Friend.

“A relationship doesn’t always need to be treasured with precious possessions but what matters is a beautiful heart which values people and their love. “

Seven Truths of Self Forgiveness

1. We can’t rewind time. What’s done is done. Stressing won’t fix anything.

2. We all make mistakes – most obviously because we lack all the information and we’re, at times, affected emotionally.

3. We, most often, are our cruellest judges. Others affected aren’t usually consumed by these events as we are. They’re consumed more by what’s going inside their minds and hearts; it’s always different to what we anticipate they’re thinking about.

4. We tried our best at the time; the fact bears consideration – we’re not always on top of our game. We know nobody’s perfect, so why do we place ourselves up against such a lofty and unattainable standard?

5. All our ‘sins’ are forgivable – our God exists, under the New Covenant regime, to reinforce that condemnation and self-condemnation are crushed by the power of grace. To hold onto such condemnation is to actually disobey God.

6. We are hurt because we love, or we hurt because we need love. These two explain the basis of so many of our actions. Love is acceptance, security, wellbeing, harmony, the enjoyment of trust and respect. Whenever these are compromised – by us or others – we are sent into a volley of confusion because love is temporarily not ours. We scramble to regain it.

7. We are always trying – sometimes not enough; sometimes too much. Effort is a strange reality; a veritable knife edge. Sitting there on the edge, but without such pressure to cut us, is the place of God’s redeeming strength. But when we’ve fallen short or overblown things via effort, we understand it’s a lack of judgment; that’s all. Staying safely upon this knife edge is almost impossible.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/6270705